5 Survival Tips For Starving College Students

By Christopher Cox on October 12, 2015

It has been well over a week since my apartment mates and I last restocked our food supplies at Trader Joes and, as you can imagine, our pantry, fridge, and stomachs are all barren.

Cobwebs occupy the previous habitat of fruits and vegetables, functioning not only as a constant reminder of impending starvation, but also as a convenient Halloween decoration. Our soon-to-be skeletons will fit in with the haunted apartment ambiance we’ve inadvertently created for this year’s round of spooky festivities.

If you want to avoid our fate, and a lengthy trip to the (in our case not-so-local) grocery store, follow the helpful tips that I’ve complied over the course of this painful week.

Tip #1: Befriend a Freshman

Mmm dining hall.

Freshmen have those meal points on lock. While many upperclassmen frequently bash their immaturity, we should instead be praising them — even if only for our own selfish gain. All stereotypes aside, a freshman could be your best friend during this difficult time.

I have found that they helpfully expend their excess meal points for a peer in need and make great company while stuffing your face. So turn up your charm, and when you’ve effectively hooked one — come to the meal prepared. Plastic bags and backpacks are a must; this is your best chance to acquire tons of subpar groceries.

Tip #2: Attend Club Meetings 

Free food? I’m there.

One of the perks of attending a club meeting is the prevalence of free food they use to lure in potential new members. I know that this tactic works on me, especially during a household famine. This is a good opportunity to make new friends, get some good extracurricular experience, and quiet a grumbling tummy. Also, a backpack may once again come in handy.

Tip #3: Day Old Deals

Nom nom.

Keep a look out for potential deals that local stores and eateries offer for day old, or soon to expire, goods. These are perfect for short-term meals or snacks that will help keep your energy up during a busy school day. Old doesn’t necessarily mean bad, but it does mean cheaper!

Tip #4: Canned is King

So many options …

Canned foods often get a bad wrap but I’ve found them to be quite convenient and, in moderation, not unhealthy! They are quick, cheap, and easy to find. Canned soups, in particular, are low calorie and very filling! Also afterwards, you can use the empty can as a cup. How pinteresty! Just kidding, that’s probably a hazard.

Tip #5: Brunch and Linner

Combining meals can effectively save time and money! Strategic meal planning is a useful tool to curbing hunger during prime hours. Brunch doesn’t have to be reserved for the pretentious, us college students can make use of the hybrid meal. If your stomach still happens to continue gurgling in the middle of class, a quick snack from your day old deal will fix that right up.

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